


Tumbleweeds

by zarrati



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post Winter Finale, growing back together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-12 16:53:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9081289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarrati/pseuds/zarrati
Summary: Set post "What we Leave Behind". Instead of going to Susan's, Oliver finds himself at Felicity's apartment to check on her. What starts out as Oliver trying to be a supportive friend soon sets them on the path of growing back together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my very first venture into Arrow fic, but that last episode just needed something to make it all better. This is definitely AU after the events of that episode. Oliver never goes to Susan's, Dig doesn't get recaptured, and Laurel doesn't show up.
> 
> This all started as a prompt/ (now belated) birthday present, but I hope you all enjoy. Thanks!

It takes Oliver more than a few seconds before he knocks on the door. It feels weird, even after all this time. This place used to be his home, too.

Although, to be fair, the last time he visited, he did come in through the balcony.

So, yeah, knocking definitely feels weird.

He’s not sure what propelled him here, either. He left the bunker after everyone else, after Thea and Dig refused to let Felicity out of their sight and they ushered her out flanking her on either side.

Even though all of this was his fault, Oliver ached to be the one to comfort her. He wished that it was his arms wrapped around her instead of Dig’s, wished he could be the one whispering soothing words into her ears and not his sister.

But instead, he stood off to the side and watched helplessly as she suffered again because of him.

When the empty silence became too much, he left, walking wherever his feet lead him. He was tempted to go see Susan, to find someone that he could talk to that might understand, but instead, he found himself outside of the building he used to call home.

The knock sounds hollow and distant to his ears, and he wonders for the thousandth time what he’s even going to say when he sees her. His apologies won’t bring Billy back. They won’t make up for what he had done, and as much as Felicity might say she doesn’t blame him, he knows that the blame will come eventually.

She’ll realize that this life she’s chosen--this life with  _ him _ \-- is what took Billy away from her. Oliver might not have meant to kill Billy, but he meant to kill Claybourne. 

He’s the one that created Prometheus, and soon enough, Felicity is going to realize that.

Oliver is pulled from his thoughts when the door opens, and he sees his sister standing in front of him.

She looks exhausted, her own eyes slightly red around the rims. 

To say that she also looks shocked to see him is an understatement.

“Ollie? What are you doing here?”

He shrugs with his hands deep in his pockets. “I--I honestly don’t know. I started walking and ended up here. I guess I just want to make sure that she’s okay. As okay as she can be, anyway. I know that I’m probably the last person that she wants to see right now, but--”

Thea sighs in melodramatic way she’s perfected since before she could even talk, and pinches the bridge of her nose. “God, Ollie, I love you, but can you just give it a rest? For like, five minutes?”

“What? I don’t--”

“This whole martyr complex you have. Look, I get it, okay? Maybe better than anyone else. I know what it’s like to have people die because of you. I know what it’s like to have to come to terms with knowing that there is blood on your hands. When I killed Sara--”

“Speedy, that wasn’t your fault.”

“No, and it took me a very long time to realize that. And Billy dying wasn’t your fault, either. I know that you need time to process this, and I know that you have to go after Prometheus. Trust me, I  _ know _ that you can do guilt better than anyone, but can you just let that go for a few seconds? Felicity doesn’t need you to feel sorry for yourself and all of the pain you think you’ve caused. She just needs you, her  _ friend _ , to support her and be there for her. She’s not going anywhere. She’s going to stand by you just like the rest of us. Don’t you think you owe her the same?”

Thea’s words rattle in his brain, making him feel even  _ more  _ guilty. But a different kind of guilt. A good kind, if that is even possible.

Oliver looks down at his shoes and shakes his head. “When did you become so wise and observant?”

That pulls a quick smile from her lips. “I have been for a very long time, or have you not noticed how I’ve also been practically running this town for you when you aren’t around?”

Oliver looks up at her and returns her smirk. “I’ve noticed.” He steps forward and pulls her into a hug. “I’ve noticed and have done a very terrible job at thanking you for it. For everything. Especially for staying with Felicity.”

“No one needs to thank me for that. She’s my friend. I’m going to be here for her. That’s what friends do.”

Her looks is pointed and he doesn’t miss that it’s another direct blow to him. One that he definitely deserves. 

“Thea, I--”

“Thea? Who’s at the door?”

Oliver stops when Felicity pads into view, her eyes bloodshot and wet. She’s dressed in pajamas and a blanket is draped around her shoulders like it’s about to swallow her whole.

She just looks so...small. 

“Oliver? What are you doing here?”

She doesn’t say it with any anger or malice, and maybe that’s what makes it worse. She sounds...surprised. Like there should be no reason that the man who once wanted to spend his life with her would show up at her door after what she’s gone through. 

He almost wants her anger, now. It would be preferable to the knife in his heart that him showing up to comfort her would be so out of the norm. When did that become what she thought of him?

When had he become that selfish?

Oliver clears his throat and has to force out words. “I just--I wanted to check in on you.”

Her lower lip quivers, but she doesn’t cry. She just nods and wraps the blanket around her even tighter.  

There’s an awkward silence as the two stare at one another, neither quite sure what the next step is.

Thea breaks some of the tension by closing the door behind Oliver and walking back over to Felicity.

She runs her hands up and down Felicity’s arms, leaning her face closer to Felicity’s ear. “Since Oliver’s here, I’m gonna go quick and pick up a few things. Is that okay? I’ll be back as quickly as possible, I promise.”

Felicity nods slowly, melting into Thea’s hug. She holds onto his little sister like she’s her only tether on earth. She was like that with Dig, too. Like she was afraid they’d slip through her fingers too if she let them go.

She used to hold Oliver like that.

Felicity pulls away with a sniffle and quick nod, smiling as best as she can to let Thea know she’ll be okay.

Thea brings her mouth back to Felicity’s ear, whispering something that he almost can’t hear. 

At Thea’s words, Felicity’s eyes immediately move to Oliver. He fidgets under her gaze, shuffling his feet and not quite sure what to do next. 

With one last squeeze of her hand, Thea turns to go, stopping to give Oliver’s arm its own gentle squeeze before leaving.

They stand there, several feet across from one another, neither one ready to make the first move.

It reminds Oliver of the last time they were here like this on her balcony, Felicity wrapped in a blanket as they talked about Billy and what it all meant. But now…

Felicity drops her gaze to the floor and turns to walk back to the couch. He knows her well enough to know that she wants him to follow her. She did this countless times when they were together.

He takes her invitation and follows several steps behind, pausing just for a moment before sitting at the other end of her couch.

“Did Thea ask you to come?”

Her voice startles him in the silence. It’s raspy and nasally and everything you’d expect from a person who spent the better part of the night in mourning, but it still catches him off guard.

But not as much as the question.

“No. I came because...because I wanted to.”

“Okay. Because she mentioned that she might do that and I told her not to bother you since you probably had other important stuff to do and if she had to leave, I would have been fine on my own and--”

“Felicity,” Oliver says, interrupting her babbling, “I’m here because I want to be. Nothing else.”

She nods stiffly, curling into her blanket, and that knife is back in his heart. The one from Felicity thinking that anything else would be more important than checking in on her. That she expected the bare minimum from him as a friend.

But the fact that he even  _ considered _ going to Susan’s before Felicity’s makes him think that maybe she had good reason.

She gives him a look that says that she’s not quite sure he doesn’t have some ulterior motive, but she eventually looks away and picks at the blanket. 

“Oh. Well, thank you.”

He lets out another, almost incredulous breath. “You don’t need to thank me. Despite...everything, we’re still friends. I still care about you. You do know that, don’t you?”

Felicity blinks back more tears and nods. “Yeah. I guess I just thought that if you were going to come, you’d have come sooner. And I also knew that you were dealing with your own stuff and needed time and you were so distant at the bunker--”

Without thinking, Oliver reaches out and grabs the hand that’s sticking out under the blanket. She doesn’t pull away, and that’s all the affirmation he needs. “Felicity, you will  _ always _ be important to me, no matter what. It doesn’t matter what I might be going through, you will always have a place in my life. And that means not letting you go through things alone. And I was distant because I honestly thought it was for the best, at first. That on some level, you blamed me, and me being around would just make things worse.”

Felicity starts to shake her head. “I don’t--”

“I know you don’t blame me,” Oliver says. “At least in here I do.” He points to his head. “But here” he points to his heart, “here I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter now. I didn’t come here to do to anything but be here for you. To make sure that you’re okay.”

Felicity squeezes his hand, and her breath hitches. “I don’t--I don’t think that I am.”

And how can she be, really? After what just happened.

Without thinking, Oliver pulls her into his arms, and she comes willingly. 

He feels her tears soaking into his shirt, hears her ragged sobs as she struggles to catch her breath. 

It’s not fair. Felicity is the last person on earth that deserves this, and yet she’s suffered so much.

Too much.

And Oliver does the only thing he can do. He holds her like he’s done a thousand times before, presses soft kisses into her hair and whispers soothing sounds into her ear.

He lets her cry for Billy because it’s what she needs right now.

Oliver knows that soon enough, Felicity will push all of this down deep inside of her and seek justice. He knows that now more than ever she will stand by his side to take down Prometheus because it’s what they _ do _ . 

He just wishes he could hide her from all of this. Keep her in a glass case where she can stay untouched from all of the evil in this world.

But even if he could, he knows Felicity would kick his ass for even thinking it. 

His girl’s a fighter.

Oliver can’t remember when he started calling her that in his head--long before he said it to her outloud. 

But it’s true. She will  _ always  _ be his girl. No matter what.

And he still loves her. 

That’s something that he doesn’t even bother trying to deny. He doesn’t think there will ever be a time when he will stop.

When he first heard about Billy, it felt worse than any kick to the gut he’s ever received. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he assumed that if he just kept working to build back her trust, things would just...work out. 

But knowing that she moved on…

Oliver gets pulled from his thoughts when Felicity shifts in his arms, pressing her cheek against his shoulder as her breathing starts to even out. She feels so tiny and vulnerable, and he would die a thousand deaths if it meant she wouldn’t feel pain like this ever again.

It’s a pipe dream, he knows that, but that doesn’t stop him from wishing it.

Felicity sniffles again, her eyes struggling to stay open. It’s no surprise she’s exhausted after everything’s that’s happened today.

“It’s okay,” Oliver whispers. “Don’t fight it. You need sleep.”

He expects an argument, one that he’s heard a thousand times before with her all nighters working on some kind of code, but none comes. 

She just takes another shaky breath. 

“You won’t--you won’t leave before I fall asleep, will you?”

“Not a chance. I’m here. For as long as you want me.”

“Thank you.”

Soon, the rise and fall of her chest even out into the steady rhythm that he memorized a long time ago. After they had broken up, it took days before he could fall asleep without it.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there with Felicity on his lap, but the handle on the front door jiggles, and Thea walks back inside.

After depositing a few bags on the kitchen counter, she walks into the living room. Whatever she’s about to say dies on her lips when she sees them. 

“You got her to fall asleep?”

Oliver looks down briefly at her before nodding to Thea. “Uh, yeah,” he whispers. “She needed it.”

“I know. I was trying to get her to rest before you got here.”

“Oh. Well, I think she’s out for a while.”

“Good. I’m gonna unload some of the groceries I brought, then I’ll help her to bed.”

“Don't worry about it. I’ll just carry her. That way we won’t have to wake her up again.”

Thea narrows her eyes for the briefest of moments before a small smile graces her lips. 

“Okay. Thanks.”

Oliver just nods and looks back down at Felicity. 

The area under her eyes is swollen, and even in the dim light, her tear tracks stand out against her pale face.

She’s beautiful.

He feels guilty for even thinking it now of all times, but he can’t help it. She will always be beautiful to him in every way possible.

“Okay, well I’m gonna finish up in the kitchen,” Thea says. “Are you gonna be good here?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’ll take her upstairs.”

Thea nods, pausing to give a sympathetic look at Felicity one more time before going back to the groceries. 

He’s about to stand up with her when she moves just a little, clutching at his shirt and whispering his name so softly, Oliver almost doesn’t hear it.

“I’m here,” he whispers back, kissing her forehead. “I’m here.”

And he vows that from that moment on, he’s going to do everything in his power to prove it to her.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SOOO much to everyone who read and liked/reviewed! You are all so wonderful and awesome!
> 
> This is sooo going off canon/what I assume will be canon after the new episode, but who cares.

Oliver is standing at the kitchen counter slicing vegetables when the hairs prickle at the back of his neck. He looks up in time to see Felicity slowly walking down the stairs still wearing her clothes from yesterday.

There had been a time when he’d change her into her pajamas without a second thought, but that feels like a lifetime ago. 

Her eyes are swollen from the night before, and she looks every bit as lost as she did when he first arrived. 

“Hi,” Oliver is finally able to say after clearing his throat. He tries to giver her a small smile, but it doesn’t quite work. 

“Hi,” she answers back, eyeing him warily. “What are you still doing her? Not that I don’t want you here. I just am surprised to still see you. I didn’t think you’d actually stay or…” She trails off and puts her head down with a sigh. 

This would be the part where she’d usually apologize for rambling or keep trying to correct herself, but she just doesn’t have it in her.

“We didn’t want you to be alone. Thea wanted to stay, but I sent her home so she could get a good night’s sleep. She should be here soon, though. I, uh, I hope that’s okay.”

“No--I mean yes, it’s fine. Thank you.” Oliver opens his mouth to respond, but she cuts him off. “So, what are you cooking up?” she asks, her chin jutting out towards the countertop. 

“Oh, uhm, I figured I’d chop up some veggies to make omelettes for breakfast. I know how much you like them.”

He almost expects some quip about a slow cooker or a comment about how she still hates that he’s so good at cooking, but that doesn’t come, either. Of course it doesn’t. 

She stares at the knife as he continues chopping the tomatoes. “Thank you.”

Oliver grips the handle of the knife and slowly sets it down on the counter with a sigh. “After I came back from the island, or after Tommy or Laurel died, I hated it when people asked me if I was okay. Someone I cared about died. Of course I wasn’t okay. I couldn’t take their looks of sympathy or concern no matter how genuine it was. I just…” He sighs again and rests both of his hands on either side of the cutting board. “I don’t want to do that to you. I won’t try to make you talk about things you aren’t ready for or ask questions I know you don’t want to answer. I won’t keep...apologizing and opening up old wounds. I just want you to know that me, Thea, and Dig will be here for you no matter what. Anything you need.”

Oliver wipes his hands on a dish towel and walks towards Felicity, slowly reaching out to grab on of her hands. “And I swear to you that I won’t stop until I find Prometheus and make him pay for what he’s done. I will avenge Billy and everyone else that Prometheus has hurt. I  _ promise _ .”

Felicity squeezes Oliver’s hand, her eyes turning hard and determined when she looks into his eyes. “ _ We _ will, Oliver.  _ We _ will find Prometheus and make him pay for what he’s done. I’m going to--no, I  _ need _ to do everything that I can to help you find him.”

Her voice is low and shaky, and there’s something behind her eyes that he recognizes. Something that he saw far too often when he looked in the mirror. That undercurrent of rage, the desire for revenge that nearly consumed him. 

He never wanted that for her. Never wanted to her to experience the kind of pain and loss that made almost lose himself. 

But she saved him.

He knows better to argue with her. He’s certainly in no position now to tell her how to handle her grief, to not throw herself into avenging Billy no matter the cost to herself. He’s witnessed a driven Felicity running on caffeine, sugar, and determination more than enough times to know there’s nothing he can do to stop her. 

All he can do is try to be the anchor she needs--the anchor she has always been to him.

At his silence, Felicity’s once determined gaze slowly turns pleading, like she  _ knows _ he’s torn about how much she should give to this. 

He eventually sighs and his shoulders slump. “I know you do. Just don’t let Prometheus turn you into someone you’ll hate. If he does that to any of us, he still wins. I...I wish I knew that lesson a long time ago.”

Felicity nods slowly, but doesn’t respond. She’s taking it all in, and Oliver can almost see the dozens of plans and ideas already forming in her head.

He takes a risk, stepping forward to wrap his arms around her in a hug.

He honestly can’t remember how long it’s been since he’s hugged her.  _ Too _ long.

She grips at his shirt in return, holding tight and pressing her nose against his shoulder. Time doesn’t really seem to exist for those moments, and it’s not until they hear low voices from outside of the door that they pull apart.

He immediately feels empty when she steps back and wipes at her eyes. 

There’s the sound of keys in the lock, and Thea and Dig come through the front door.

“Hey,” Thea says softly as she hugs Felicity. “I hope it’s okay that I went home for the night. Oliver said--”

Felicity smiles and cuts her off. “Thea, it’s fine. Really.” She looks past her to Dig who offers his own, tight smile. 

Felicity is soon enveloped in his arms, looking so small and vulnerable. “Lyla sends her love. She wishes she could be here.”

“No way. It’s too dangerous now with Prometheus out there,” Felicity shoots back. “She and JJ need to be kept safe. Tell her it’s okay.”

Dig looks up and and gives Oliver a look. Like he’s surprised that he’s actually still here. 

“Hey, man,” Dig nods, Felicity still tucked under one arm. 

“Hey. So, uh, I was just in the middle of making breakfast. Omelettes okay for everyone?”

Thea breathes a dramatic sigh of relief and kisses her brother’s cheek. “That sounds amazing. Otherwise it would have been stale bagels or something given our cooking skills.”

“Thea Queen, when have you  _ ever _ eaten anything that was stale?” he smirks and finishes slicing the rest of the vegetables. 

He reaches up to the cabinets and pulls out the salt and other spices he usually adds with ease. Even after he left, Felicity didn’t move anything around. It still felt like home.

Felicity moves from Dig’s side to pull out the eggs and grab a bowl. It’s the old routine that they had. Considering that cracking eggs was one of the few kitchen related things that she  _ could _ do, it was always her way of helping out. 

It almost hurts now watching her. Like he’s being transported back to before everything. Before Damien Darhk and the lies about William. Before Billy and Prometheus. Back when it was just the two of them against the world.

But he can’t think about that now. Not with everything else going on. Not when...not when there might not be a chance he’ll ever have that with her again. 

“Thanks,” he says when she hands him the bowl, and she shrugs. 

“I need to feel useful. I even double checked for rogue eggshell bits. It’s been awhile since I’ve had an Oliver Queen omelette, so it needs to be perfect.”

“Appreciate it. Why don’t you all go sit down and let me work my masterchef magic.”

Thea and Dig nod before Felicity does, and she reaches down the quickly squeeze his hand. “Thank you. For everything.”

“Always.”

She releases his hand and lets Thea loop her arm through hers on their way to the living room.

When Oliver pours the eggs onto the pan, his hand still feels like it’s burning.

~~~~~

Felicity and Thea disappear upstairs sometime after breakfast.

“Everything okay?” Oliver asks Dig while he busies himself with cleaning up.

“Billy’s obituary came out this morning, and his family is in the process of planning the funeral.” Dig puts his hands into his pockets and swallows. “It’ll be delayed though because...because they need to examine him first. Hopefully they won’t trace it back to you. The last thing we need is for everyone to think that the Green Arrow is going around killing good cops.”

“I  _ did _ kill him.”

“Oliver, we talked about this. It was all Prometheus. That’s what we need everyone to focus on.”

Oliver stays silent and keeps scrubbing the countertop. 

“So, how is she? Really? I know she’s trying to put on a brave face, but…”

“She’s as well as can be expected, I guess,” Oliver answers. “Last night was hard for her, but she eventually managed to fall asleep. I told Thea that I’d stay with her. Don’t think I didn’t notice how surprised you were to find me here this morning.”

“Well, I was surprised. I didn’t expect--”

“What? Didn’t expect me to comfort my friend after her boyfriend was murdered? Is that what you think of me?”

Dig crosses his arms. “Sometimes I don’t know what to think. I know you. I know that you have a tendency to retreat back into yourself. I know that at the bunker you were more concerned with how you ruined everyone’s lives instead of being there for Felicity. So yeah, I was surprised that you got your head out of your own ass and eventually came to check up on her.”

Oliver squeezes the rag in his hand, but he can’t come up with an argument. Not a good one, anyway. 

“I know,” he sighs. “I guess a part of me was worried that no matter what she said, she still hated me for what I did. That I was the last person she wanted to see. But then I realized that I was--”

“Being selfish?”

“Yeah, something like that. It’s just...she’s gone through so much because of me. Because of what we do. But she doesn’t deserve to go through this alone. I want to be there for her like she’s always been there for me.”

Dig stares hard at him for a few moments before dropping his gaze and unfolding his arms. “Look, Oliver, I’m sorry. I’m just trying to look out for her. And I know she appreciates what you’re doing, but be careful.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not stupid. I know you still love her, and I also know that you would never use what happened to try to repair things with her either. At least, not intentionally, but she’s really vulnerable right now and--”

“Dig, I understand. I know everything is crazy right now and believe me, I would  _ never _ do that. Yes, I still...love her. But I’ve accepted that she’s moved on and I have to, too. I’m not looking for anything more from her. I just want to go back to being her friend. I’m not looking to exploit that.”

Dig nods and wipes a hand down his face. “I know. Emotions are just really high right now. And I don’t want to see her hurt anymore. Not by you. Not by anyone.”

“I know. I don’t want to hurt her anymore, either.”

Dig clenches his fist against the countertop, gritting his teeth. “We’re going to catch this son of a bitch. Catch him and make him pay for what he’s done. To all of us.”

“I’m not gonna stop until that happens, Dig, but I’m gonna need your help with more than just catching Prometheus. Felicity...she’s in a bad place. I know it sounds stupid considering what’s happened, but when she talked about avenging Billy...Dig, I swear I saw something in her eyes that scared the hell out of me. You know how driven she can get to the point of not caring about taking care of herself, but it’s more than that. I’m worried that...I just recognized something that I saw in myself before. We need to be there for her and make sure Prometheus doesn’t turn her into someone she isn’t.”

“Of course, man. Anything she needs. And you, too. You’re not alone in this. You haven’t been for a long time. Remember that.”

Digg walks away with a quick pat to Oliver’s shoulder.

Oliver scrubs the countertop until his fingers start to bleed. 


End file.
